Hello everyone ! I hope you are all fine.

I'm copy pasting this journal from FurAffinity. Where my "fans" and watchers are a few more and very active.
Some weeks ago. I had health problems (Kidney infection, plyenonephritis) and had to go to hospital.
I didn't had time to write it on Deviant art. Only on Twitter and Fur affinity.
But now I'm back form hospital and form being sick.

That's why I wrote this journal ! :



I want to thank you to all the kind message that I had for my hospitalization and etc.
It's very important to me. I must be sometime very distant or cold.. I'm sorry for that. i will try to become again the kind shali that you knew

I've a lot of news. A lot.

(TL;DR : I'm single, in good health and happy :3)




During this time where I was ill, I've understood a lot of things. My life was more than shit since the two past years.
The only little hopes that I had it was to have a lot of good feedback when posting my art here or on Deviantart.
No job, no future, a shitty family.. a lover.. but a strange one who didn't accept me and was ashamed of me. My life was sad and boring. At almost 22 years old only.

Many times I thought about throw everything away. My life, my art.. everything.
I've try, past november I've broke with Serious my boyfriend. But was too weak and lost. Few time after I give him a second chance.
But during this time, when I was single. I was feeling totaly... Free. About me, my art. My life and my future.
But well, I was in love and I started again to believe. But this was killing me.That's why I didn't draw that much and
very slowly since christmas. And I'm sorry for this.

And it's in the worse moment that you understand what is important. That you want to see tomorrow. So this time.
I really took my life into my hands.I will be doing what I want, without being ashamed. To be furry, to be crazy, to have my name,
to be selfish sometime , to want respect. To have stories in my head and dreams in my pencil.I don't care anymore.

When I saw that serious was more busy about music and friends than me at the hospital. I was fed up. I just wanted to live, to not think about what
I can do to not make him mad all the time. . So I break up with him.Hard, but at least I'm feeling happy right now.And I did so well.. Sun is back here.
Seriously. Since that day just awesome things happening to me.



I'm now a really free lance artist. I have my own self managed compagny. I'm my own boss
Means that I can use all the money that I had for commissions since more than 1 years and a half. Means that I have a real statut in the France society.
My health is good. The infection is no more here and I just to be careful to drink enough for my kidneys.
I had a awesome time fursuiting at a 1st april festival and having a lot of fun.
I feel free to go to every furmeets that I want and see people that I totaly love.
I've projects. Yeah didn't have them since I'm 15 years old lol. Moving to Paris, collocations with some furs in the same situation. I'm actually glad to think about
the future ,man ! I know it's normal for you but for a depressed person like me XD it's huge.
I'm motivated for personal art again. This is so crazy because didn"t happened since 3 years. Except little pictures of Shalinka.



Some people gave me my confidence back, and I thank them a lot for that. Bettrave that's all I can say.



Well. After this wall of text I also want to apologies about art and how I'm slow. All my commissioner can ask a refund at anytime. I never use money before it's done so.
If you waited to much. But I still working hard on huge pieces.
I will post wips more often. Even in scraps. To you to understand that I really work all the time
It's just, that working on a 20 views big charactersheet is not as fast as a pinup or a chibi.
The thing is also than few month ago, when I took the commission. I was working faster, but.. i was a little less good than now.
Now I'm detailling and coloring better and in a different way that takes me more time. I didn't plan that :s maybe I guess, I have to learn this lesson.



I love you all, you are your feedbacks ! Thanks so much, without all of theses I will be already a memory since a long long long time.
I also want to add, that some people told me that I was quite popular and impressive. That I was maybe talking only to artists like me etc.
This is totaly wrong. I love to talk to everyone. Peoples are awesome because so different. I'm closer than with random persons who not draw than with super star who draw
. Please don't think about my art or my number of watchers. I'm just a person you know. And I'm very friendly. And sometimes.. alone. Because no one talks to me
because "I must be so popular to talk to someone without skills like you". Lol this is silly.
Don't feel inferior, or superior. We are all the same, and all human.. sadly yeah